I'm on week 3 of training to run the NYC marathon and I still can't say it without adding disclaimers----
The scene: The interior of a Midtown boutique named "SBR". It's the "Swim Bike Run" store for hardcore Ironman types.
Me [Enters sheepishly. Avoids making eye contact with the Salesperson.]: Hi.
SBR Salesperson [Little wiry dude, cut from granite. Bald. Probably 100% hairless by choice, because of wind resistance or whatever]: Good afternoon, how can I help you?
Me: [blurts out] I'm training to run a marathon, but my goal is just to finish it because I'm not a real athlete and I understand that it's too soon to train properly to run 26.2 miles but I'm doing it for a charity that's very important to me and they just got spots for runners on August 1st which means only 13 weeks to train and I haven't even been inside a gym in close to a year and every marathon training website says that I should already be fit and running easily for 30 minutes at a time BEFORE I start training for at least 16 weeks, but I can't turn back the calendar so it is what it is and I'm going to do what I can even if I finish the damn thing last.
SBR Salesperson: M'kay.....
Me: Do you sell fanny packs?
SMASH CUT TO TRAINING MONTAGE VIDEO. What? You were expecting Rocky? Karate Kid?? Come on. Why would I fantasize that my thighs are going to look like Ralph Macchio's?
I've learned a couple of things in the last few weeks:
1. Bananas are magic. Every day that I come into work after getting up and running at the crack of dawn and I feel like a lifeless sack of wet laundry, I eat a banana. Sure enough it feels like coming back to life. MAGIC. Or maybe Potassium. Whatever, I'm not a scientist.
2. Before I started running, I believed that this:
was just one of these:
for one of those:
And I still do. But now after a few miles, I'll drink out of it and really not care. And that is called perspective.